After a couple of weeks of letting information process, multiple ER and OB visits, I've finally decided to start blogging about all the emotions I am feeling. I wanted to write letters to my baby, which I still may do, however for now the convenience of blogging online is easier.
Let me start off by introducing myself and telling a bit about my story so if by some chance people stumble upon this blog, they can have some idea of where I'm coming from and how this news of being pregnant is affecting me.
My name is Miranda, I am currently 29 years old and apparently now expecting my first child. I have a wonderful boyfriend and we are buying our first house together (our closing date is Feb. 13, 2015 as of now). This pregnancy was very much unexpected, but we are both excited and cannot wait to meet our baby.
We recently made a big move from his hometown (home state even), to my hometown and state. It was a big move, after 9 years of being in Wisconsin I was more than ready to move back home to warm weather and my family in Tennessee. My mother, younger sister and older brother all moved to Wisconsin to be close to me 2 years after I moved up there. 7 years, and the worst winter we had all seen late, my mom was done and moved back to Tennessee in Feb. 2014. I was obviously heartbroken and instantly homesick the moment they left. I stayed behind to graduate from college and get my Associate's degree (I was set to graduate May 2014, so I wasn't leaving that close to being done). I also had Marc, and I did not want to leave him behind.
In Dec. 2014 we decided to just do it and move to Tennessee, buy a house, start fresh and plan for our future. Little did we know at the time we had a baby in the making and being close to my family is going to be a tremendous help. Marc is in the Army National Guard and due to certain unfortunate circumstances, we had to go back to Wisconsin the beginning of Jan. for him to attend one last drill in Wisconsin and take a PT test.
It was the 16hr drive back to Tennessee when my legs got very swollen and I was having issues with shortness of breath. Being the paranoid person that I am, I googled symptoms and panicked seeing heart failure! When we got back home, I let Marc go to sleep and had my mom take me to the Emergency room. Lots of tests (EKG, blood work, xray and urine test) later the Dr comes in to inform me that my blood pressure is really high, my blood sugar was also way too high and oh by the way "you're pregnancy test came back positive".
Let me first say that I have wanted a baby my entire life, I wasn't even sure I could have children at this point and my mother has been asking for grandchildren since all of us kids were born. So when the Dr dropped that bomb on us, I can only imagine what my face looked like as I leaned up in the hospital bed and looked at my mother. Shock is the only way to describe her face and my feelings. I asked the Dr several times if she was really sure, could it be wrong, etc. She said she was very serious and false positive is possible but extremely rare, and she spoke the hesitant word "Congratulations" I looked at my mother and saw the tears running down her face and instantly my head fell back on the bed and I too began to cry. It was bittersweet obviously because it is what I have always wanted, but in the middle of all these health issues I was panicked and nervous. Add the fact it was unplanned and I had no idea how Marc would react, I was just in shock.
Ultrasound was ordered and the waiting game began. Finally the ultrasound tech came in and asked my mother to step outside. The technician was very cold to put it nicely, she would not answer any of my questions, just did the ultrasound, showed me nothing, told me nothing, finished, said results could take an hour, and left. 2 hours later Dr came back in to say there was indeed a baby in there, early pregnancy, estimating 6 weeks or less. I was to follow up with an OB immediately to address my high BP and Blood sugars. We were discharged and sent home to break the news to our family, that I didn't have heart failure, I just had a baby inside me.
I feel everyone handled it well, they were all super excited and we put a plan into place to change eating habits to get my health issues in check and have a healthy baby. Marc I think was a little less excited, more shocked. I think 2 weeks later he's still shocked actually lol.
I went to the OB the next morning, he was a total jerk, did no tests, no ultrasound, nothing. Told me to wait it out and come back in 2 weeks. I went to the health dept. 2 days after that for another confirmation of pregnancy and to get signed up for healthcare. I ended up in ER a few days later because my leg swelling came back, 100 more tests and 4hrs later the Dr informs me everything is great, all my blood levels are normal, BP is normal and everything was fine, the swelling was likely just due to pregnancy. Apparently some women experience horrible leg swelling (like me) and some have none at all. A week later I went back to ER for some light pink spotting, given everything else that had been going on I instantly went into panic mode and ran to ER for reassurance.
Once there they checked vitals, took blood and got another ultrasound. This time the technician I got was really nice, answered all my questions, even showed me the baby on the monitor and let me hear the heartbeat. It was a very surreal moment for me and unfortunately Marc was not allowed in the room to experience the joy. I held back tears so the technician didn't think I was crazy, but the truth is seeing that little peanut, watching it;s heart actually beating and hearing it beating set my mind at ease. She told me I measured at 6 weeks, 6 days and everything looked good. Dr concurred, baby's heartbeat was great, labs all came back normal and told me the spotting could be anything this early as the uterus is very fragile. I was informed I have O- bloodtype though (like my mother) and had to receive a rhogam shot to ensure my body does not try to reject the baby.
Then we get to today.. Today I had my 2 week follow up with OB jerkface. I got to see my baby again and my sister came with me since Marc was on the road working. The baby's heartrate was 159 and I was given a due date of Sept. 13, 2015. OB says everything looks great and to come back to do some tests. He was also just as unpleasant as the first time I saw him and I cannot wait for my insurance cards to show up so I can go to a better OB who may actually care about my concerns and health issues and help me address them instead of blowing it all off and saying let's wait it out.
I guess that is everything up until this point, a bit of background and all things leading up to this moment. At this moment it is 1am and I am tired, so I guess tomorrow I shall come back and start writing about feelings, emotions and my letters to my unborn baby. Goodnight everyone!
